On Journalists

There goes another tired journalist wandering off in his room in circles. This is the fifth pencil he has broken, the second ream of paper he has crumpled and thrown to the trash can, as he stares back again and again on his notepad and his computer. He has done his investigative reporting and gathered enough data to prove his point, in a very factual basis. The only difficulty, though, is making it interesting for his readers to read.
He has already seen this happen, facts or boring subjects further made boring by the writer or the speaker. The greatest challenge now lies on how can a journalist make his article, however boring the facts may sound, become interesting. You see it happen everywhere in sports like golf and cricket. These men bring excitement to what a majority of the people find as a boring game. Every stroke, ball, spin or anything else has an emotion and a critic to match it along, and they have to keep their listeners glued to the radio for the next ball, the next spin. They bring in as much excitement as a promise or a near miss. “It is, it is, allllllmmoooooosssssttttt there”. This actually sounds familiar in a lot of situations. You get all hyped up or you are always shown that you have a better chance the next time around. You have it in betting in casinos, politicians voted into power, watching sports, and also in writing.
It is an art, and there are practically an innumerable amount of articles or books that are both educational and interesting. People have already fought through in anger over the fact that they were deceived into actually learning something. There does not seem to be any sense on them gaining additional knowledge, but they do seem keen on not knowing further in the first place.
This would go for women who would rather not know if their husbands have an affair, or people who would rather not have heard of new diseases in connection to their vices. There are some things better left unsaid.
But this journalist of ours has interesting stories. He has traveled through mountains, and hills, he has seen the most wonderful horizons and ventured through different cultures. He has faced countless near-death experiences through political turmoil or plainly some slippery road surface or being stuck in a car while in
India. He has had the most amazing travel.
But he does not know how to make his article, which is mainly focused on different animal mating calls and fornication procedures, be interesting to read over watching it in Discovery channel. This book has to hit well in the market if he wants to have another project later on.
But ideas can come, and he used the most universal idea of them all, make it a story. Tell everyone of how he got to places he had to go, and then describe what happened there.
It was still boring.
So here was a better idea, relate what is seen out there to how human beings are, that should definitely hit the spot.
And it does, it was known to be effective and has been used somewhere quite popular, educational channels.
So he ends up leaving the office a little earlier to get himself some coffee in a nearby café. He sits there and watches the world, waiting for some inspiration. A lady tries to hide her flatulence in her best way possible, but ends up making a noise, much like that of a duck mating call. Voila, inspiration, hit it to what is interesting in human beings, the popular being that through stupidity.
On why stupidity seems popular, the journalist cannot figure out, but he does suspect that it has a large role in it being so silly it becomes entertaining, or that it would occasionally be nice to know there’s someone else who has it worse than us, it makes us better off, a more desirable species over that guy in the book, just like in nature.
And so he ventured back to his office, excited and inspired to write his book, only to realize though, that he has forgotten his keys inside the office, so it seems like he might as well go home and sleep over it, get it done the next day. And the next day comes, as he ventures towards the office, he looks forward to human stupidity, for some strange reason, while we are all supposedly looking at improving and evolving the entire planet, we will always have the tendency to look forward for a sort of devolution among others, to somewhat ensure that we are better off, or are getting better than the rest, if you cannot go up higher anymore, just hope that others are slowly sinking in quicksand, that way, you’re a little more fortunate. Then again, that is but a natural instinct. And we might as well let this journalist friend of ours choose to think the way he is thinking, it amuses us, and will continue to amuse us, as he discovers that the human race is not a separate tree from the other animals, but rather, a branch on the animal kingdom tree (that was a cheesy way to end this little story here, but who really cares).

10 Minute Story

Trailing through this nice little village with a video camera brings us forth to a little house that is currently the most interesting thing to see here so far. There actually is a birthday party and the kids had their games and balloons, there were cakes, hotdogs, and whatever food kiddie birthday parties would offer. As far as it looks, this is another ordinary and happy birthday party, except for the fact that the clown looks sweaty and his hands trembling beyond grief. This is not his first time to go perform a birthday party, but the story here is slightly more complicated.
It was already reported to the clown the little “issue” the birthday boy currently has. The issue is, he and his friends just realized that there is no such thing as Santa Claus around 5 days ago, and that never mixes well with kids for quite some time. The discovery apparently happened when the child told his dad that he saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, aside from him pinching her ass. This of course, made the father laugh, as he was the Claus in disguise, but he did not say anything to the child, who later presumed that mommy kissing strangers is ok after all. And thus, he might as well report that his mom has also kissed the milk man, the post man, and the dad’s brother, who visits 30 minutes after he leaves for work. This would, of course, upset the father who later had a bitter argument with the mother, which, in the process, got the mother so angry as to take revenge to the child and blurt out that Santa Claus was played by dad, who is now living elsewhere as he refuses to live with the same “kiss-all-bitch” in one house. The mother, feeling guilty, though, threw a birthday party for the child to make up for all of the stress a 5 year old should not have in the first place, this plan took place 5 days ago. Now, the same level of stress focused its potency on the clown’s hand.
Turning our story away from here, we are reminded of a similar story somewhere not so far away, when a dentist also had hands this shaky while he was about to perform a tooth drilling operation on a middle aged and nervous woman. He just had to get one more espresso than the recommended dosage to stay awake. 5 espressos can actually screw you up in the head.
The same head which is malleable, like plastic, it evolves, like all brains out there, it learns to put more importance on what it knows well, and further depth on what is familiar. What is familiar is something that has happened frequently, the frequency gives the brain an assumed confidence, that based on all previous trends, the consequence remains constant. A person who fears snakes, but is slowly being taught, through slow but increasing pace, to approach the snake, and then touch it, and then carry it, and then play with it, will lose his fear in time, but it requires repetition and imprinting of a new data or information in a more constant and magnified manner. This is the main reason why advertisements are being repetitive, and that phrases are created, it sticks in the mind, and puts priority over everything else. The brain loves habit, because it knows the outcome, it loves monotony due to its predictability, thus ensuring you are still alive after performing the said task.
What does this have to do with the above story? Nothing, but you can just imagine how many visits that middle aged woman will need to the dentist after seeing a dentist with a shaky hand, nor will the story of the dentist who had 10 espressos and drilled a lawyers tooth, who is now very much fearful of lawyers the way the lawyer is fearful of the drill, but the lawyer will always be willing to take another chance, after all, he did make a good month’s fortune suing the dentist.
As for the clown, he screwed up the balloon animal which looks more like a snake trapped in a knot desperately trying to look like a dog, and TV shows have already shown all the tricks on how those illusionary magic worked. This is just not their day.
What else is there to say about their day? As far as it goes, the only person happy in this entire story is the lawyer, and not everyone seems to be in favor of the ending, but that is how life works after all, it might not work out as you wish, but it is rather interesting and educational.

Monotone

“She just snapped, like a pencil, dashing around in the plane in an erratic manner.”, “It was just plain crazy, and we had to make sure everyone’s ok. With what she did we thought we would die then and there. It was crazy. Thank God the captain came to the rescue”, “For 10 years she was never like this. In fact, she never even showed any sign of stress or erratic behavior. It just happened”
Standing outside is the most popular stewardess, as described by a few conversations above. She saw her fellow colleagues go inside and leave, giving her a frightened look as if she’s a grizzly bear or a lawyer who has had a bad day. She’s a mess and she knows going in there next will not help her at any point.
It just comes to a point where you have to face things as they are and accept it, bringing in the point on why it happened.
This is one of those situations where you wish to have been able to evade.
Staring intently on her shoes and wondering what to say next, wishing that an earthquake were to postpone her meeting won’t happen soon, even if she did stomp the ground real hard, making her look more insane as what she already looks like.
She gets up off her seat and stares on the floor while walking. It was noticed though, that the floor is kept clean. The janitor did an amazing job, and has always been doing an amazing job. Apparently, only people in trouble or have lost something realize this more than the rest. People who lost their contacts would have realized this had they had better vision, as to that they have lost their contacts, everything is a blur.
She steps towards the door to twist the doorknob.
More on what is happening in there after a few moments. As what is noticed, she must have done something really bad to have quite an introduction above. Here’s what happened that fateful day on a busy domestic morning flight.
She snapped.
But more specifically, 20 minutes after take off with the seatbelt sign turned off. She made her last announcement to the passengers on airline safety and was ready to push the tray. Nothing extraordinary happened and everyone was busy as usual. There were no hostilities or crying babies. In 7 minutes she will be pushing the cart back to the storage and get the next cart to serve the next batch. As usual, chicken seems to be a popular choice. On her way back though, she has decided that she has had enough of the plane and needed some fresh air, and tried her might to open the airline door. As her frantic tries gets her screaming and yelping, her colleagues help push her off the door, causing them to let go the food cart they were holding and getting it to crash to one of the passengers who just came out of the toilet, only to decide it might actually be a better idea to go back inside and clean up. Maybe even wait a while until everything settles down and take the cart off the toilet door. The stewardess then tried to go towards the front and maybe fly the plane off course to another area, any area for that matter. This was when the captain came out and put her on the chair, got her tied up and raised his voice, telling her to snap off it. She just ended crying all the way back to their destination. Everyone was shaken, and the business class passenger she is now seated beside is feeling rather uncomfortable with the arrangement of him having to sit beside her all throughout the flight. The whole commotion did cause some turbulence and got the plane to jerk up and down only once. This was enough to get the food to experience zero gravity for a moment, and choose their landing, which was usually on expensive clothing and laptops.
While the airline is now handling lawsuits and heavy cleaning of the airplane, they have decided to try to grill the hell out of the stewardess, who has caused all the mess, as she is now entering the room.
After being read the incident in a more polite and politically correct manner, she was asked one simple question. “What the fuck happened to you up there?”
To which she gave the following monologue.
“I have always watched airplanes on TV with happy stewardesses and happy passengers. I dreamt of seeing the world by being an airline stewardess and make people happy. And truth be told, I did get those. But who knew what was happening behind the curtain? The review of passengers on the plane, the repetitive review of airline safety, and passing the food, it just happens 3 times a day for the past 10 years.”
“I start off by reading the passenger roster and arranging appropriate food for appropriate diets, if requested. We have to prepare for special concerns accordingly. Once in the plane and everyone is reminded to fasten their seatbelts, the door is closed and the plane will start to move. I will then go in front and demonstrate safety tips while playing the video of the same damn thing by inserting the same tape to the same recorder. After the demonstration and announcement, I sit on my chair and await for the seatbelt sign to go off. Then we pass the food to everyone in the plane and get it back later on. There will be another announcement and check on passengers to ensure they’re following the fasten seatbelt sign. It is then that I make another announcement and greet them off the plane with a smile, knowing that there is another flight I have to prepare for.”
“It drove me nuts doing it over and over again. I look at the roster and see the same names. They all fly the plane like they ride the bus, it is a part of their schedule to their next meeting. It is no longer a wonder or awe for them, it is all taken for granted.”
“You do understand that there is a need for human being to develop and evolve through their own lifetime. In this course of time, we need to develop ourselves in some way, otherwise, we feel we have lost our value. The mind needs to evolve and develop. It needs to breathe and run free, it has to be creative once in a while. For some, it will just show this need out of nowhere. When this happens, it will nag and nag and nag. It will get bored and it will make decisions beyond what the board of directors are telling it inside. It then gets extreme to get itself to be free. It will want to make itself heard, even if the situation deemed would be considered totally irrational and dangerous. It needs to vent off steam.”
“At that point, out of nowhere, was a meltdown inside me, the warning signs might have been lighting and beeping but it was too weak for me to notice. I just had to let it off”
“No one on the bloody plane caused any commotion, no one brought a crying baby, or a racist neo-nazi. There have been no fights to stop or no terrorist to beat up. I was losing my significance to everyone’s eyes.”
“In that I seeked refuge in the extreme of all actions, and to this as much as I regret, I couldn’t correct that mistake, I am sorry.”
The psychiatrist looked at her and said nothing for the past 10 minutes. The mirror behind her had people who said nothing either, until a male executive quipped, “I needed to vent off my steam today so I did something different, I came to work today with no underwear”.
He did get sued for sexual harassment as the rest of the people in that little room were women. He also had a more spacious work area as most of the cubicle in his immediate area has been deserted by everyone.
The stewardess found interest in him and his problem and decided to marry him, even if his choice was not as extreme, it was plain stupid anyway. He found that after what he said, she was the only person remaining willing to talk to him or even show any sign of interest.
For the airline company, well, who knows, and at this point, who cares.